Seasonal Anime Watchers With David Attenborough

[Read this post in a David Attenborough voice.]

The seasonal anime watcher does a migration four times a year to snatch the best prey – whether it be slice of life shows, action thrillers or promotion (*looks at AKB0048 and Sanrio Boys suspiciously*) , they want it all. Whether they take on every show in a season or just one, it is often a mad rush to get to the shows first and get a sample of what a show is like.

Should the seasonal anime watcher be happy with their pickings, they will happily pledge themselves to buying merchandise, source materials and discs, as well as pleading for subsequent seasons. The longer a show goes on, the more exponentially difficult it is to obtain a new season, you see…should a seasonal anime watcher obtain their subsequent season, squeals of delight and unnatural bouts of happiness may be detected, causing non-anime watchers to question their sanity. The advice here is to leave the seasonal anime watcher be so their extreme happiness can wear off. 

However, seasonal anime watchers are just as easily known to be fickle beasts, performing a ritual known as “dropping a show” whenever they dislike their prey enough to not deal with it any longer. This ritual may involve a lot of screaming, mashing of keyboards and tearing out of hair, although, for reasons beyond my comprehension, some watchers do this ritual for fun. 

The seasonal anime watcher’s weapon of choice is often their social media or anime tracking account, and since almost all anime have moved online in some form, the seasonal anime watcher more often than not follows its prey to the digital realm. Some watchers have taken to perfecting the art of “liveblogging” or “live reactions”, where only the most up-to-date can keep up with the watcher’s…sometimes strange…communication signals. Watchers can also be found congregating at anime conventions and clubs to devour the newest episode, or more recently movies, on large theatre screens, but these are much harder to find than the common internet-using watcher. The inherent nature of social media often inflames already hot debates about such topics as “subs versus dubs” and “who would win? Superman or Goku?”, while it also causes people to abandon entire sets of characters every 12 weeks or so.

Furthermore, seasonal anime is only a new development that arose as part of modern technology’s expansion, but it is already very diverse – even a dub can be made a few weeks after a seasonal show first goes to air in Japan, even though they used to be hard to find and even harder to pay for. Those who do not abide by the seasonal structure the main streaming sites abide by are generally derided for their choices (namely the company that is most accused of “promoting the binge model”, Netflix).

What a wondrous world we live in, if the seasonal anime watcher is spoilt for choice…

Meta context: Did you read this far? You just got an April Fools’ post! We’ll be back to regular programming in a few days.

(Oh, and if you’re wondering how this idea came about, I like doing in-character writing sometimes.)

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